Apr 21, 2010

Bloody April: The medieval fish spell

This spell is not specifically menstrual, but it does involve the vadge. Oh, merciful heavens, does it ever. And I'm dying to share it, so in the series it goes! This is yet another love spell from The Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells. Judika Illes has such a lovely dry sense of humor in her writing.

This medieval love spell allegedly produces one of the most potent aphrodisiacs. This spell lingered throughout Europe for centuries. Its practice was condemned by a Latin penitential dated from the tenth or eleventh century. If you are in the habit of purchasing live fish to personally kill prior to cooking, then perhaps this spell is for you.
1. Insert the live fish into your vagina.
2. Keep it within until you are absolutely sure it's dead.
3. Cook the fish as you will. Presumably using other aphrodisiac ingredients, such as saffron, champagne or cardamom, can only enhance the power of this spell.
4. Serve it to your beloved. Beyond stimulating great passion and sex, it is also supposed to keep him faithful.

Yes you read that correctly. Kill Mr. Fishie with your vadge & then serve him up. Dude will be enchanted forever!


  1. Wow... that's some kind of spell alright. Also, ew.

  2. oh dear god......or should I say Goddess.

  3. Ugh. Remind me to never eat fish again.

  4. Hahahaha, (still laughing..) Brilliant, Death By Vaginal suffication, bet the fish didn't see that coming,

  5. I have to laugh every time I read these comments! So glad I included this spell.